THAT FALLOW TIME...

Just an awesome close-up
of a squirrel...
for no reason at all.

Despite my good intentions, writing has been on the back burner this month as I've worked to acclimate my youngest to his new school, mail everything my eldest forgot to take with him to college, encourage my high school senior as he wrestles with the Common App, and drive my busy eighth-grader all over the east side.

I tell myself these are the reasons I haven't been writing but the truth is more complicated. I've grown somehow frightened of my manuscript. I am uncertain whether I have the strength and skill to fix the pacing problem I see or finish all the research required to get certain elements right. When I think of the careful reread I need to give the piece--and the outline I should probably make at this juncture--I yearn to both sleep and cry.

Lately, though, there have been moments--mostly while I am driving carpools or washing my hair--when I feel that connection to my characters somehow re-electrifying. I've started scribbling notes again, looking for the courage I need instead of just hiding behind my to-do list of laundry and shopping.

I feel like this odd, fallow period may yet yield something worth putting on the page. At least, I hope it will.